The Story Behind the Song

This song is part of a healing process to deal with the experience of deep trauma. Some years ago I experienced a horrific personal attack that left me hospitalized. After many staples in my skull to stem the bleeding and several hand surgeries and a metal implant to repair a compound fracture in my left hand, I was physically better but certainly not psychologically. Writing and playing music was and is a great way to heal and I am so grateful that I have that avenue to explore my feelings.

The title of this song can apply to anyone. We all end up, in one way or another, fighting for our life. Sometimes it’s simply to pay the rent and put food on the table, sometimes it’s in a hospital bed fighting disease and sometimes it’s a soldier on the front lines. In some ways we are all warriors. No disrespect to those who actually enlist and face the ultimate sacrifice. In fact, this song pays homage to both literal and figurative warriors.

How can we express the idea or feeling of sacrifice, loss, or victimization in words? Words alone seem limited, but combining verse and music can be a powerful tool for expression.

Life can be wonderful and also a terrifying rollercoaster ride. While we are engaged in our battle to survive as literal or figurative warriors we can end up doing things we never thought we’d do. Whether through happenstance or willful blindness we can end up doing “things we don’t choose” (as one of the repeating lyric says).

Finally, regret is a lousy thing to go to the grave with but maybe there are some things that just can’t be forgotten or mistakes that can’t be mended in this lifetime. Unfortunately, at the point in my life when the attack took place I was somewhat blind to possible negative outcomes and the universe served me up a platter of misery. The regret part comes in due to the fact that there was an innocent that was psychologically harmed that day, and for that I will always be deeply sorry. This song is an artistic expression of many of the feelings I struggled with as I went through a very dark time in my life.